~Something New~

I decided to try something new today. Our family was having one of those days...it all began when the printer decided not to work properly...well wait...possibly it began when I allowed myself to sleep in until 8:00 a.m. I am usually up by 6 so that I can begin my day in tranquility and tea.

I knew the day was going to be off to a "different" start so mentally I tried to prepare my mind. I didn't start my day with my tranquil tea...but with oatmeal...you  know...good for my  heart food. 

Later in the morning, our printer decided to die...just as my husband was in need of its work. Attitudes weren't the best. Our oldest son got up...late...as usual for a Saturday. Our youngest, special needs son, just observed us all...grin on his face.

Well, 'tudes mounted...and hub had to leave. My oldest and I had a discussion about "our day". I asked, "Do you have The Message version of the bible?" He didn't. I was kind of hoping for some regular day language. I said, "I want you to look up anything in the bible you can find on the attitude...just one place." He quickly pulled out one of his favorite Proverbs. I had him explain it and how it pertained to us....

Then I said, "okay, I want you to pray for me and Dad. I want you to pray for our tones and attitudes." He was willing...until I said, "right now." Oh, that was something he preferred to pray for on his own...alone with God. I agreed that that was fine...then said, "okay, then I will pray for all of us."...

I proceeded to pray for each person and their tone, attitude and over-all actions. As we were ending our conversation I told my son that from now on when we had an issue in our home...we were going to go to scripture...then discuss it and pray.

I believe I thought of this a little too late in raising him...but at least I thought of it...FINALLY...it took seventeen years to realize that is how I should be handling situations...I used to give him bible assignments but now I need to simply take care of it then and there...in discussion and prayer.

"Lord, thank you for allowing me to see that this is the way I need to handle family (and probably other) situations. Thank you that it hopefully isn't too late to make a difference in our family. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Psalm 91: Lincoln Brewster

Psalm 91

Psalm 91

 ¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
   my God, in whom I trust.”

How powerful is the meaning....dwelling in the shelter of the Most High...resting in His shadow....The passage continues as it speaks of Him covering us with His feathers I am reminded of how the  Eagle soars and protects with its wings...feathers...the feathers of an Eagle are so very strong...the Eagle will rise above...soaring...protecting...even getting ice on its wings...taking on more than one would imagine it could...

Jesus has told us...I will carry your burdens...I will carry your sorrows...I will carry your stresses...I will carry YOU...through ANY thing...I will be your shelter...I will be your strength...when you have no where to turn...no one to cry to...no one who seems to understand...I am there for you...I am all you need...

Give up your EVERYthing...to Jesus...feel the comfort of His shelter...REST in Him! 

~Text to God~

It seems everywhere I look as I go about my day in which other people are included...I see someone either talking on a cell phone or texting on one...it makes me think...

Wouldn't it be so cool if we could text God? I mean, sure we can talk to him any time any place...quietly in our heads or loudly with our mouths....but wouldn't it be great to be able to text God and get a response back? 

When I first began texting, I was one of those who sent immediate responses back and thought that others should send immediate responses. Well, I have learned that life happens and you can't always respond immediately...sure at times you can...but not always. 

It would be so great if we could send a text message to God...and he could text us back. Communication is rampant here in the United States...but HOW do we really communicate. Are we so busy keeping up with the best and latest that we truly don't understand?

Let me step back for a moment...okay...I said it would be cool to be able to text with God...immediate communication...His responding back to us so that we can "see" the words. Doesn't he already respond to us? We have become so "vision" oriented...having to "see" with all of the technology presented to us that possibly we have become "deaf". 

There are so many ways to "see" and "hear" from God. He communicates to us in a still small voice, through His Word, through other people...are we fully in tune with his form of "technological communication"? 

Maybe we need to slow our pace down...put down the technological gadget in our hand...pick up the Bible with paper pages...open it...begin communicating with God...or maybe we need to simply sit quietly with our Friend...communing with Him...waiting for His responses...and His ways will be made known...plainly...if we simply rest quietly in knowing that.

Pride and Prayer

Somehow it seems pride and prayer don't go together at all.

I found myself realizing how humbling it is to have people pray for me. People are praying for my brain tumor...to either shrink, stop growing, or disappear....whatever God's will is. The reason it is so humbling for me, I have discovered, is because sometimes I have had a wrong attitude in praying for people.

Oh, yes of course I have had this prayer line to God...from the time I can remember, it was like I had a direct link to answered prayers....sure they were not all answered as I had desired. I have always been a prayer warrior...intercessor for others...and I enjoy praying for others. I have discovered that at some point I continued enjoying praying for others but I also began to become a bit pride-full. Oh, I wouldn't pray for someone unless I knew I had the time to so that I could really devote that prayer time...but I also felt a little "mighty" at times because people would often tell me how fast my prayers got to God...they could tell. It was sort of like when I was a little girl who learned very quickly. I would go around telling people, "I'm smart, huh?" Well, God doesn't need intercessors that go around saying, "my prayers get answered quickly, huh?" I didn't really "say" it...but I had a wrong attitude..call it that ugly word...PRIDE.

So, it is humbling because as I confess, I have sometimes had pride in praying for people. I have talked to God about it...I know that praying is bringing ourselves humbly to our magnificent Lord God in thanksgiving and admiration...and yes confession. Father God hears our prayers...our petitions...in humility I once again "take off my shoes" before Jesus..entering His presence in awe and wonder...knowing that it is an honor to take my issues before our Lord God Most High...the Almighty.

I thank Jesus for this privilege.

~Savior Complex~

Savior Complex...the belief one has that he/she is destined to become a savior. Of course Christians know in their heart of hearts that there is only One true Savior...and our Savior will be with us in Heaven some day. Christ, our Savior, truly does bring us out of our negative lifestyle.

When I write of one having a "Savior Complex" I am not delving deep into the TRUE meaning of the type of person with a personality disorder...I am writing about an individual who SO desires to see the best in someone thinking that THEY can "lift them out" of their lifestyle and habits. Such a person knows that Jesus is the True way out of bad habits and because this person has such faith, they often "fall" for helping people who have repeatedly continued in their harmful ways.

There are countless life stories of a person seeking to help another from various addictions or habits only to be trampled. You may say, "Well, Lariann, we ARE to pattern after Christ and He didn't give up on people." It is very true that Jesus never gives up on a person. BUT, consider the rich young ruler. His story can be found in Luke 18:18-27. "The story of the rich ruler is a perfect example of the grace that God extends us. The rich young ruler asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life, to which Jesus told him that he must sell all he had and come follow him. The man went away sad because he had much. The crowd confusedly asked how anyone could be saved if this was what was required of them. Jesus replied that with God all things are possible." (Biblegateway)

We may see ourselves as extending "grace" to a person who continually carries on in their old ways...not wanting to give them up for whatever reasons. They may appear to improve at times but that is part of their life cycle...sad to say.

So, there comes a time where we need to talk with God our Father; seeking His wisdom in dealing with people. We need to pray for wisdom and discernment. If in dealing with someone who doesn't seem to change their bad ways, we simply need to "disconnect" and leave them in the hands of Father. He knows the person inside out!

~Grasp Truth~

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Wow! What a powerful message in that short bible verse! Break it down with me...

Our God...our Father who never fails us...who looks at us as His children as a loving and just Dad...who will correct us when we sin in a compassionate way...is NOT a Father of fear...

Our Daddy (God) wants us to know that He stands with us through ANYthing that we face in life...ANYthing!!!...loss of job...loss of a loved one...cancer...brain tumors...children who are living for themselves...divorce...the unknown...Our Father God is right there with us...

Father God has given us POWER...His mighty prevailing power...all we need to do is call on Him...our God NEVER fails us...in Him we have the strength to take on...the world...for as Jesus said, "Take heart for I have overcome the world" (found in John). That promise gives us so much confidence...and POWER of God our Daddy Father...

The Love through God should be so evident in our lives...it should shine through our entire being...causing people to reach out for that love...seeking to understand how such love can be so real...compassion that we receive only through Jesus...live love!!!

Oh and a sound mind...only in Father God can we acquire a sound mind...He gives us the peace that passes ALL understanding...His peace is ALL we have in this day of such uncertainty...we can take heart in knowing that God is in control of EVERYthing...even when all around us seems so empty, discouraging, or hopeless...we have the HOPE and true PEACE that will give us the sound mind...in Father...

Know the truth of 2 Timothy 1:7~~take hold of it~~write it in year heart and mind!

~Hidden Within~

Many of us keep secrets...secrets of what lies within our minds...our hearts...our souls...the secret may start out very small...like a tiny growth...

Allowing a secret sin to develop over a period of time will block our view of how we are to see Jesus and live for Jesus. I have no idea how long my brain tumor has been lodged just back above my sinuses, but I do know that it has affected my sense of smell on the left side.It could also cause issues with my optic nerves if it grows. The outside of my head looks normal. There are no changes in my facial features...no changes in motor skills...no changes in reactions to things. Inside, a still small growth had begun. I have no idea when it began. It was secret. The tumor nestled in to a bit of bone and remained "quiet" for a period of time.

Our lives and reactions to things can seem to remain the same all the while we hide our secret sin. It will affect areas of our lives, but often no one else may know as no one knew my sense of smell was not what it should be due to the tumor resting on part of my senses.The "secret sin" of the tumor was discovered "by chance" due to my hitting my head on a desk and needing for the pain to be checked out. Had I not hit my head and received a CT scan, I'd have never have found the "secret" of having a foreign object in my head. Secret sins don't remain secrets forever.

As the tumor was discovered, so eventually will a secret sin be. We need to choose to remove it. We need to come before Jesus in all sincerity seeking His forgiveness truly wanting to remove the sin from our life.

Singing once again, "Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone..." Pray to Jesus to remove that secret sin. Allowed to grow, it will cause problems for the things in your life that are supposed to be there. "Foreign objects" must be removed in order for us to be "whole" again. Choose to be whole in Jesus!

~God of Wonder~

God of wonder beyond our galaxies...You are holy...You are all-knowing...You watch me when I sit and stand...when I breathe...when I fall...and if I had not fallen that Tuesday night, May 3, 2011, I would not have known I have a brain tumor...Yes...I have a brain tumor...it is a benign meningioma lodged in the olfactory area behind my nose...

Lord, you know I have always had childlike faith...when the doctor told me the options (monitoring it as long as it doesn't grow, gamma knife, or surgery of cutting into my skull) I felt fearful...this lady of faith...who has no problems praying for others...believing they will be healed...felt fear...I knew it was wrong to have fear...but I felt it rush over me...

Dear Lord, God...I have a brain tumor that has been there for who knows how long...well You know for how long...it bothers my sense of smell...and a few other things...I do praise You that it is benign...and that it has not caused issues with my optics nerves...or anything major...

But, Father, God...I need to remember that I rest in Your hands...I have cried on Your BIG shoulders many times...for my mom who went to be with You when I was 7...for my miscarriages...for my baby Caleb when he was so ill at birth...for my dad who ran into Your open arms months before Jesse was born...for Jesse who almost died when he was 4 and who continues to have struggles and challenges I never dreamed a joy-filled boy of mine would have due to not having all of his corpus callosum...I have cried on You so many times...I can't count them...and You have always been faithful...always felt Your hugs...Your comfort...

So, Jesus...I come to You...I smile as I think of the song..."Lord I give you my heart...I give you my soul...I live for you alone..." So, I give you my brain...where Jesse is missing something in his brain...I have something that isn't supposed to be there...I give you my brain...the tumor is there for a reason...You know what it is...I pray that under Your control...the tumor doesn't cause me any issues and that it doesn't grow...I do trust YOU...You have NEVER failed me...I DO have faith...faith that You will monitor my brain as You see fit...

I love you, Jesus...thank You so much for your friendship and for Your keeping things in control....

~Oh My Head~

I was tucking Jesse in at night, giving him a hug...when he didn't realize his own strength and he gave me a push. I fell back onto his desk, hitting the edge (maybe corner) of it with my head while trying to brace myself with my right arm. My head had immediate pain as did my arm. I told Jesse what had happened and said good night again.

Quietly I went to the freezer and pulled out a small ice pack to put on the back of my head. I iced it for half an hour. The next day I still had pain...and it continues a third day...but I will survive (grins). All I could think of when I hit my head was how amazing the brain was. The brain is this mass of a Jello-like substance protected by a very hard skull bone. The skull's purpose is solely for protection.

We are similar to that Jello-like mass. Left unprotected we can be easily bruised or molded in a different form. Life situations come at us from all angles. We need protection...we need that Source of hardness.

Allowing Jesus to form around us...holding our "mass" of who we are, we can have that Protection. When life hits us with "hard edges", He is there to take the blow. We can rely on His stability. That is not to say that sometimes the things that hit us in life...or that we choose to be "hit" by...do not affect Him. I am sure He feels all of our pain...the pain that we cannot control as well as the pain we bring upon ourselves.

We need to keep Jesus as the focus in our life in order to maintain the protective relationship for without the "skull" we would be shapeless and totally on our own to be "hit" on all sides. Jesus takes on our worries, cares, hardships, and he loves to celebrate with us in our joys. Thank Jesus that He wants to be there for us always...always caring for us.

See Psalm 91

~Love Languages...Change?~

Do you remember the book, The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Smalley and John Trent? In it, they list Five different "Love Languages": words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service.

When I first read the book...years ago...my love language was a combination of quality time and physical touch. I have always been one to crave quality time. To me, having quality time with someone, does not mean that I have to consistently be verbalizing with them. I remember as my dad lie in his hospital bed in Grand Rapids, Michigan back in 1998 and each of the 3 of us girls were taking turns being with him in his room, Dad and I had one of few conversations. He lie watching the news and I was sitting at his bedside. I grew weary of the Clinton/Lewinski news so I decided to converse with my dad.

We talked about how he said people should learn to think about nothing. I asked him how you go about doing that and he looked at me and said, "You just do it." Well that was clear...haha! I mentioned to him that we never really talked a lot. He looked at me with his compassionate brown eyes and said, "No, only about what was important." Dad and I had this type of relationship in which I simply appreciated his presence...we didn't have to exchange words. I knew that if I ever wanted to talk about the things on my heart, he was there though and would listen. So, quality time, to me, is simply being "in the presence of".

Physical touch...yes I will always like hugs. They encourage. But as I have aged, I have come to appreciate words of affirmation more and more. To me, receiving words of affirmation touches my inner being...my soul.

I am not dis-crediting any of the other love languages because I know that some are very important to others. I have noticed, though, that as I have grown or aged...whatever you want to call it...the importance of quality time has never and will never change...and I cherish words of affirmation.

"The Five Languages of Love" is a good read for those who want to understand the people in their lives that they are closest to. If you read this book years ago, as I did, you may want to re-read it....as possibly you have grown...changed...as you aged.

~Gladwin FMC Updates~

The Ladies of the Gladwin Free Methodist Church are making changes....

New Thing...

We plan to meet for a potluck lunch every 4th Monday of the month from 11:30 a.m. through 1:00 p.m. for a time of simply socializing and getting to know each other. We ask that you not bring any children as this is our time to get away and relax with other ladies. Feel free to invite friends and please bring food to share.

Mother/Daughter...

The Mother/Daughter banquet has changed this year as we will be having a Mother/Daughter (ladies') brunch on May 7 at 10:00 a.m. All ladies are welcome and if you do not have a mother or daughter, please adopt a mother or daughter and bring her along. The men will be hosting and cooking so that we can simply relax and enjoy a morning of leisure socializing with each other.

I Dare You to Listen!

There comes in time in your life when you must choose to sit quietly. Sometimes it may not necessarily be a choice. At times we are "forced" to slow down or even stop most or all of what we have been so preoccupied with.

Sometimes, if we are not "forced" to sit quietly, we come to a point in which we feel the world is screaming at us from all directions. There is no calm. All is a mass of confusion and only getting worse as the days go by.

If you are not already "forced" to do so, choose to sit quietly with tea, coffee, water, or some sort of juice and your Bible. Turn off the radio, TV, anything "extra" (sure you may have to have the washer or dryer going in the background, but you can tune that out). Be sure you have blocked out at the LEAST a half hour but better still an hour. Listen! Listen to the chaos inside your head. Pray it out! "Jesus, I am sitting here right now trying to catch the calm that You bring. I ask that you clear any "noises" out of my head. Thank you!"

When the noise has cleared from your head, Listen! What is Jesus telling you? Does He want you to pick up his Word and read from it? Then do so! Is He telling you, "Be Still! You need to learn quietness!" Listen!

One of the most difficult things for us to do (us meaning most people living in the USA) is to Be Still! Quiet! Listen! We think we need to keep something going...physically or mentally...all the time. Jesus wants us to set aside time for Him. Time for us to Listen! Be quiet! Develop a calm quietness about ourselves.

I purposely didn't choose a Bible verse. God will talk to you and tell you what He wants you to know when you seriously take the time to wait and Listen! I tell people that listening (to others) is a lost art, but more so than listening to others, the "art" of listening to our Best Friend (Jesus) has been lost by most.

I dare you to set aside time...as I suggested a half hour or MORE...daily...to simply LISTEN to Jesus. Keep your mouth and thoughts quiet! Listen! Hear what He wants you to know. Focus on Him...and Listen!