Do you remember the book, The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Smalley and John Trent? In it, they list Five different "Love Languages": words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service.
When I first read the book...years ago...my love language was a combination of quality time and physical touch. I have always been one to crave quality time. To me, having quality time with someone, does not mean that I have to consistently be verbalizing with them. I remember as my dad lie in his hospital bed in Grand Rapids, Michigan back in 1998 and each of the 3 of us girls were taking turns being with him in his room, Dad and I had one of few conversations. He lie watching the news and I was sitting at his bedside. I grew weary of the Clinton/Lewinski news so I decided to converse with my dad.
We talked about how he said people should learn to think about nothing. I asked him how you go about doing that and he looked at me and said, "You just do it." Well that was clear...haha! I mentioned to him that we never really talked a lot. He looked at me with his compassionate brown eyes and said, "No, only about what was important." Dad and I had this type of relationship in which I simply appreciated his presence...we didn't have to exchange words. I knew that if I ever wanted to talk about the things on my heart, he was there though and would listen. So, quality time, to me, is simply being "in the presence of".
Physical touch...yes I will always like hugs. They encourage. But as I have aged, I have come to appreciate words of affirmation more and more. To me, receiving words of affirmation touches my inner being...my soul.
I am not dis-crediting any of the other love languages because I know that some are very important to others. I have noticed, though, that as I have grown or aged...whatever you want to call it...the importance of quality time has never and will never change...and I cherish words of affirmation.
"The Five Languages of Love" is a good read for those who want to understand the people in their lives that they are closest to. If you read this book years ago, as I did, you may want to re-read it....as possibly you have grown...changed...as you aged.
